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Something to get you over the hump-day: Food-Pas

Jeff

Today is Wednesday, which is one of the toughest days of the work week. I’m tired as hell from the inevitably chaotic beginning of the week, and dreading the next 2 before freedom commences for a couple days.

This weekend in particular, the False Start Sports guys will be hitting the Baltimore Taco Festival. Which inspired me for today’s blog.

So for a nice change of pace, I want to talk about a few Food Faux-Pas’ that I’m sure many can relate to.

 

Bread Butts

The butt of a loaf of bread is the biggest manufacturing waste in the history of food.

If you eat the first, or last piece of bread in a loaf, you are absolutely a nut job (no offense).

If I’m ever desperate enough to eat the butt of the bread, I’m either in serious need of alcohol absorption assistance, or I may be severely constipated. Thoughts and prayers to me either way.

 

Fruits/ Vegetables with Pits

Who wants to risk cracking a tooth or accidentally swallow a seed? Better yet, how about being poisoned by one?

Just for inconvenience factor, I tend to avoid any handheld foods with a pit.

Cherries, peaches, plums. No thanks.

Avocados, ehh, I love guacamole, but can’t stand cutting slices of avocado.

Olives, you ask? Fuck olives.

 

 

 

 

Plant Based Meat

If you don’t raise your eyebrows in confusion when reading that above, we can’t be friends.

Meat comes from an animal. Plants come from the ground. They can coincide together between 2 buns. A salad can serve as a vessel for a meat.

Don’t in God’s name try and fool me with fake-ass meat from a plant.

If you decide to be vegetarian or vegan, more power to you. But you don’t get to pretend to have meat.

Your loss.

 

Chocolate Milk with Italian Food

Let me start off by saying, this one derived from my lovely wife and her family.

Chocolate Milk is one of my favorite things. Spaghetti, Lasagna, etc. are some of the best foods.

To eat a bite of spaghetti, and wash it down with chocolate milk?

No. Thank. You.

 

Drinking Pickle Juice

Pickles have been a longtime nemesis of mine.

They don’t smell good. They can overpower a sandwich pretty easily. But as I have gotten older, I can tolerate fried pickles. I have even developed a hankering for Wickles Pickles on occasion.

BUT… drinking pickle juice is GROSS. Vile.

Pickle shots at the bar? GTFOH.

 

Well-Done Steaks

Don’t ruin a perfectly good piece of meat by killing it a 2nd time.

Unless you are making a steak and cheese or using the meat for spaghetti or tacos, keep some color on your meat.

Furthermore, don’t increase the chances of dryness by getting a super lean cut of meat. Get you a nice ribeye, maybe a porterhouse or t-bone that has some fat and juice in it.

Your meat should be juicy and flavorful, like all the best experiences in life.

 

Happy Hump-Day Everyone.

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