Thanksgiving Foods, Ranked
Somehow, someway, it’s almost Thanksgiving, and since I like making lists, I’m going to rank the food items found on our plates on Thanksgiving day. Now this blog undoubtedly has thousands, nay millions, of readers across the country, but I’m sticking with MY typical Thanksgiving meal. If you’re not native to Southern Maryland, you may need to read this New York Times article.
- Ham
As far as meats go, ham is pretty average. However, there are ways to drastically improve it (hint, hint). In the mean time, what do we have to do to make beef brisket a traditional Thanksgiving food?
- Stuffing
Stuffing doesn’t get much run, but it’s a solid choice. It’s sort of like the LA Chargers of Thanksgiving foods – consistently good but never truly great.
- Green Bean Casserole
It feels kind of weird to list a vegetable here, but when you start adding cream of mushroom soup and fried onion rings, it’s far from healthy. This is a pretty damn good side dish, and it’s easy as hell to make.
- Turkey
Turkey is the star of the show, but it’s also a wild card. It’s wildly inconsistent and you never really know what you’re going to get. If it’s dry I don’t even need it on my plate. If it’s cooked and seasoned well, it has #1 potential.
A few tips: 1) Tell your mommas and grandmammas to brine the turkey. It makes all the difference. 2) Forget about roasting it. Throw that turkey on a smoker or deep fry it. This isn’t a time to be conservative. Make your meal great.
- Deviled Eggs
This one feels controversial, as I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who don’t like eggs. If you feel that way, I totally get it. But you are wrong and I assume you have the palate of a small child. These things are great finger foods, and it’s easy to down them while you’re in like making your plate – allowing you to get the taste while also preserving precious space on your plate. You’re welcome.
- Fried Oysters
If you’re not having fried oysters at your Thanksgiving dinner, you need to start. Seafood is delicious. Fried Seafood? No-brainer.
- Mashed Potatoes
Just consistently excellent, year after year. Mashed Potatoes are good with everything. Mix it with turkey? Delicious. Did it spill into your green bean casserole? No problem. Still good. Potatoes are so versatile and underrated. They are the Nick Backstrom of Thanksgiving.
- Stuffed Ham
A Southern Maryland staple. If you live in this area, stuffed ham is an absolute must during the holidays. The stuffing is key here. You need plenty of it and it should have a kick. Get in line early to make sure you don’t miss out.
Disagree? Let me hear about it!
Bonus Rankings!
Best Thanksgiving Day Activities
- Watching Football
- Eating
- Sitting in a recliner after eating
- Telling that one weird cousin how much the Cowboys suck
- Black Friday shopping (late night)
- Watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade
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