Baseball Needs Beer, Betting, and Bat Flips
For my money, baseball is the greatest game ever created. The combination of physical and mental skill needed to be successful is unrivaled in any other sport. The little things (laying down a bunt, hitting to the opposite field, proper base running, etc.) are so vital to the outcome of a game. It’s addictive to me.
That being said, it’s become boring as hell to watch.
I love the Washington Nationals. I love them so much. My youngest daughter’s middle name is Harper, and I swear to my wife it’s not because of Bryce, but it absolutely fucking is. I’m all in on these guys. But even I struggle to pay attention during the games. A 3-1 game in mid-July is just not exciting. I’d rather watch Shameless. If I’m saying that, think about what a 12 year old kid thinks.
Baseball has a serious problem. And the MLB is making it worse. Here’s how to fix it:
Chicks dig the long ball
We need offense, and we need dingers. Right, Big Al?
I went to the HR Derby this year. It was the best time I’ve had at the park, with the exception of Werth’s game 4 walk-off. I personally believe pitchers should have to hit, as its part of the game. But I want offense, so we need a DH across the board. The pitcher basically ruins every third inning in the NL.
Let’s also get rid of the shift. It’s a good defensive tactic, and players should be able to go the other way, but they just don’t. Opening up holes in the field will allow more hits to come, or more great defensive plays to happen.
Strikeouts are sexy (sometimes)
Watching a no-hitter or seeing a 20 strikeout game is really cool. They are also rare. Updating rules in favor of offense might make them happen a bit less frequently, but I’m fine with it. However, widening the strike zone could have a benefit for both the offense and defense. On one side, it would give a pitcher who can paint the corners an advantage. On the other side, we reduce walks (which are boring) and force hitters to swing more frequently.
Let us watch the damn games
It’s stupid hard to find baseball content. In most cities, you get one team’s game each night. You don’t have options, with the exception of the few nationally televised games each week. The NFL gives us multiple games on Sundays, all with staggered times. Put big name players on TV, and let us watch for free.
Social media might be where baseball lacks the most. You never see highlights or GIFs on twitter. Mike Trout is the best player in the game. I never see anything about him. You know how quick a Lebron dunk is shoved in my face? He’s barely back on D yet. Is something great happens, let us tweet it.
Make Baseball Fun Again
Celebrations. Bat Flips. Shit talking. Dugout clearing brawls.
Let players wear custom cleats. Kids eat that shit up. Big ass chains and flat billed hats? Go for it. I won’t tell you to get off my lawn. We need entertainment!
Remember when Bryce Harper scuffed the Braves logo? Was it disrespectful? Sure. Do I want my guys to hate their rivals? You’re goddamn right.
And while we are the subject, the umpires need to chill the fuck out. I don’t want to see you having a seizure on a called strike 3. Just relax and call the damn game. And for the love of god, stop throwing out star players to prove a point. The fans pay to see them play, not to see you prove you have a big dick.
Parlays and Fantasy Plays
The MLB needs to embrace gambling. Add Pete Rose to the Hall of Fame and get over it. Gambling will bring eyes to the product. The NFL thrives on Fantasy Football. Baseball is a bit different, but people will play the games. Promote DFS sites, provide a solid fantasy experience, show us some teasers, and people will show up. Imagine being able to place a DFS bet in the middle of an inning at the ball park? Sounds cool, right?
Conclusion
At the end of the day, we want to be entertained. That’s why we watch. That’s why we love big trades and impact signings. The game needs to be tweaked to become more watchable. If it’s not, we will lose an entire generation of kids to some other sport. It might even be SOCCER. For Christ’s sake MLB, that cannot be an option!
P.S.- it wouldn’t hurt if beers weren’t $12.
